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“You are an attractive girl, why are you still single?”

“You are an attractive girl, why are you still single?”

Is truly not a compliment! We need to stop accepting this as it turns into a societal norm.

Being single is a choice. We have come a long way from the Bridget Jones era. The 90s chick flick of the single sad woman crying into her crisps at the thought of being single in her late 20s, or 30s …is almost laughable.

Moving into being single into the 40s and 50s as a woman is a whole new layer of exciting empowerment. Instead of Bridget view it as the curious capers of Alice as she chases her rabbit of dreams through the weird and wonderful.

Life isn’t necessarily easier, but then I know being in a marriage, having been married twice, is not necessarily easy either.  Being ‘single’ is a lifestyle choice as much as being ‘in a relationship’.

Finally women are recognising that they don’t need to be viewed as only half a human without a man, and can love and breathe without one. And yet we have a place in society that actually makes people feel uncomfortable.  Which then leads me to think that the issue is with those judging from the relationship status, rather than the sad and lonely singles.

I’m happy to say being left on the shelf in our Barbie boxes only gains value! And actually, as Woody and Buzz show us, we don’t stop having adventures sat on this proverbial shelf.

Please do not worry about us!

I think now with the processed way of ready meal dating with apps and dating sites, it is quite easy to fall into relationships, and it is just as easy to fall out of them! The fast pace of the swiping right sets a criteria of visual idealism hooking up with either the boy next door that’s nursing a jilted heart to a lover based 60 miles away that equally is desperate to not be left alone.

It’s so much easier for people to avoid being real. To not heal wounds and wear a mask of “ hey, I love you, would you like to move in with me?” on the third date. Three heartbeats away from a 40 word profile statement and picture…. Eek!

I don’t have all the answers as I am navigating this life thing myself. I just know that having had two divorces and then 10 years of a single status, the first 8 dipping in and out of many dating app flings…today I am truly happy.

I have importantly built a community that is supportive, strong and hold me up when I need it. As well as provides one hell of a ride of fun, laughter and magical sunset moments.

Who knows where my fairytale of life will lead me, but I just know my current knight in shining armour is the life I have created, invested in and nurtured, full of beautiful loving people. So I actually think my rescuer must be me. Funny that!

And as a good friend said that inspired this plea of single life acknowledgement “if a relationship can’t offer me what my single life offers, why would I choose that?”

So next time you meet a person choosing being single please don’t pity them or set them up with someone you know will get them sleeping in their soup.

Instead recognise their value and shine, their power of breaking the paternalistic norm of needing a man, their resilience of constant heartbreak in the dating app merry-go-round at the same time juggling the single parent phenomena.

Be there for them if they need it, because they will for sure. And then you can share and celebrate with them in their richness of fast-paced freedom and flow of fun. It’s one hell of a ride!

We are all equal in our quest of happiness in our lifetime, so let’s all celebrate together wherever we may be.

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